The Dating Game (Alphalicious Billionaires) Read online

  Either way, he was definitely out of practice, because he missed his mark by a mile.

  Muffy’s cheek slammed into his nose and pain exploded violently along the bridge of it, sending a flurry of stars dancing in front of his vision. She tried to correct at the same time he went to pull away and her forehead slammed into his nose again, bashing the same part she’d hit him before. The explosion of raw sensation that ripped up his nose was nothing short of agonizing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in so much pain.

  “Argh,” he mumbled, as his hand flew up to his nose to check for blood.

  “Oh my god,” Muffy wailed. She pulled back and her hand shot out and landed on his cheek. She turned his face, inspecting him for damage. “Oh no. I’m so sorry. I… oh damn it. This is really embarrassing. Now you’re going to be the one who wants to get out of here and go home and call all of your friends and tell them what a clumsy dork you had to take out.”

  Even though his eyes were pretty damn close to watering and his nose throbbed and burned and he could taste blood at the back of his throat, he had to laugh. It was one of those hoarse, painful kind of chuckles, because it would hurt too much to full-on laugh.

  “If I have a set of shiners for work, I’m going to tell them that I went on a date with a lady who had fists like clubs and that her idea of a good time was beating me for making a bad joke.”

  “Oh, I think boxing would be better.” Muffy’s cheeks were bright red, but she still made the effort to smile.

  He liked that. That she wasn’t afraid to laugh at herself.

  “Boxing?”

  “Yeah. You could say you went on a date with an ex-lady boxer. I don’t really know how that stuff works, but you could say you went over to her house and she had trophies on her shelves. She wanted to get busy, but you weren’t interested and when you tried to make an escape, she clocked you a good one.”

  “Oh my god. I am not going to say that. I’d be handing in my man-card, big time.”

  “You could say she was over seven feet and looked like a giant from the fairy tales our parents read to us as kids.”

  “That would be even worse.”

  Muffy grinned and even though he hadn’t got a kiss in, even though his nose was likely broken, he had to grin back. She was funny. It had been a long time since he’d been on a date with anyone who knew how to make a joke, let alone who had a decent sense of humor to make more than one in a row.

  “I should have mentioned that I like the stars just fine up there. I didn’t need you to attempt to show me what they were like in my own head.”

  “Oh god!” Muffy slapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry. Maybe your nose is broken. I can drive if you want. I can take you to the hospital.”

  Bingo. Alex saw an opportunity and took it. He held his hand at his nose, and his voice was naturally garbled like he had the world’s worst cold. “No way. I don’t have insurance. I’ll just have to take my chances. Even if it was broken and healed crooked, a little bump there would give it some character that it was severely lacking.”

  “Oh… oh no! You have a nice nose. Had a nice nose. Oh god.” Muffy waved her hand in front of her face and he wondered what the heck she was doing until he realized she was fanning her eyes, trying not to cry.

  Smooth move, ass wad.

  Alex dropped his hand away from his nose, even though it still hurt like a son of a bitch. He actually doubted whether he could drive or not. “It’s okay. Don’t cry. It’s going to be fine, I promise. No hospital needed.”

  “But- but what if it heals crooked and you have breathing problems for the rest of your life and it’s all my fault?” Muffy’s huge eyes filled up with tears. She blinked hard, but they threatened to spill over.

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “Well… I have insurance. I can pay for it. I’m going to take you to the hospital. You have to go. That’s that.” A new look of determination hardened Muffy’s face and Alex nearly panicked. This wasn’t right.

  “No. Seriously.” He stuck his face in her direction. “Take a look. No harm done. It’s not even bleeding.”

  Muffy brought her face close and inspected his nose thoroughly. She sighed and pulled away. “You have a really nice nose. It still looks okay. I think you’re right. It’s not broken.”

  “No nose hairs sticking out embarrassingly?”

  “No. None that I can see.” A reluctant smile was back, and he breathed a sigh of relief. “Well… maybe just one. A really long black one. You should probably tweeze that one.”

  “Oh my god, are you serious?”

  Muffy’s lips curled up and her eyes sparkled to life. “No. I was kidding.”

  Alex settled back against his seat. “I guess I should drive you back soon. It’s getting late.”

  “I’m okay with that. I’m a big girl.” Muffy stared at him for a second before she turned around to face the front. “Oh. I mean… uh- god. That’s embarrassing. Don’t worry. You can take me back. I won’t expect a second date. I get it.”

  “What are you talking about?” He was truly baffled. Was she trying to work reverse psychology on him?

  “You’re not really interested. Or if you were, I ruined by being colossally clumsy. It’s okay. Don’t worry. I had a good time. Better than I’ve had in months. So, thank you for that.”

  “Muffy!” Alex reached out and brushed her shoulder, which was a mistake, since heat shot up his arm and his heart, and his cock started up their simultaneous pounding they’d been doing before she’d accidentally head-butted him. “I’m going to call you. I definitely want to take you out again.”

  “You don’t have to be nice. It’s really okay. The rest of the ride home won’t be awkward. I can take it.”

  “Damn it,” Alex cursed under his breath. He reached down, following her arm along her jacket until he found her hand. He twined his fingers through hers. He tried very hard not to focus on the jagged shards of lightning tearing up his arm and buzzing through him.

  She turned at his touch and stared at him quizzically like she really couldn’t tell that she was a damn hot catch. Bet or no bet, he was taking her out again.

  “I’m seriously going to call you. I’ll give you my phone and you can put your number in it and I’ll give you mine. I promise if you call, I’ll answer. Deal?”

  “Even though I destroyed your face?”

  “You didn’t. But even if you did, so what? It would probably be an improvement.”

  “Hardly,” she scoffed, and then her cheeks flushed again. “Oh. Jeez. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “I’m flattered. Seriously.” He gave her hand a squeeze. He thought about kissing her, but oddly enough, it was nice, just holding her hand. It was somehow sweeter and more fiery than kissing. A slow burn that he’d never experienced before in his life.

  He wanted more.

  He seriously wanted more.

  The want was genuine. His need to see her again was genuine.

  Alex almost gave his head a shake, but his nose hurt too much. He dug his phone out of his back pocket and passed it over. “Number. Now. Then I’ll give you mine.”

  “You could just delete it after.”

  “I won’t. Besides, if I didn’t call you back, who would be willing to take me out? Not very many people think going to see some stars outside the city is exciting.”

  “Not very many people like being head-butted either.”

  “You see. We make a good pair.”

  Something flashed in Muffy’s eyes right before she bent her head and started entering her number into his phone. Alex slid back behind the wheel and started the truck up. It was getting cold in there and he made sure he pumped the heat onto full blast. The fogged up windshield cleared after that.

  After he gave Muffy his number, he accepted his phone back. Their fingers brushed, and he tried not to focus on the sparks raging through his bloodstream. Or the guilt.

  Because no matter what he felt or didn’t feel, it wasn’t actually real. He was there because of a bet he didn’t want to lose. Muffy might be the real deal, but he was playing a part.

  Fuck, she probably should have hit him harder, because he definitely deserved a broken nose.

  CHAPTER 9

  Muffy

  Muffy was shaking by the time she got back to the apartment. She let herself in and hadn’t even shed her boots before Carla was there, ready for details.

  She was sitting on the couch, their cat on her lap, and had a tub of ice cream, the kind with the cookie pieces in it, in one hand, a spoon in the other. It didn’t matter that it was nearly midnight and she had no reason to stress eat, she looked like she was stress eating. And enjoying it. She slowly got up and ambled over to the door. She popped a spoonful into her mouth, closed her eyes, and made an mmmm sound at the back of her throat. How she could eat that much and still be curvy thin, Muffy did not know.

  “How was the date?” Carla asked, after coming out of her ice cream orgasm. “You were gone for a long time. Either you did not go on that date and spent the evening doing errands and then decided to try and emergency second date later with someone else, or you went on the date and it sucked and you tried an emergency second date with someone else. Or the last option, you actually went on that date and you just… enjoyed it. The first date. The only date. One.”

  Muffy rolled her eyes. “Yes, it was only one. Jeez. Give me some credit. I’m not a serial dater. You were the one that forced me into this. I wouldn’t just swipe left or right or whatever the hell it is people say and choose someone else.”

  “I would have. I wouldn’t have wasted a good Friday night on a loser.”

  “Well, he wasn’t a loser.” Muffy made a production of taking off her boots so she didn’t have to look Carla in the eye, but her friend was too sharp for that.

  “Oh. My. God. You liked him!”

  “He was okay.” One boot slipped off and was thrown in the direction of the closet.

  “You thought he was hot!”

  “He was okay.” The other boot followed the first.

  “You want to bone him!”

  Muffy straightened. “Good god, Car, seriously? I don’t even think that’s the right term. More like I wanted to ride his bone. Maybe that would be more appropriate, seeing as I don’t have a bone to do any boning with.”

  “I’m pretty sure I used that term the correct way.” Carla popped another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

  “I’m pretty sure no one uses that term anymore, so no one would even know if it was correct or not.”

  “Well… did he kiss you? Did he treat you to a romantic candlelit dinner in a restaurant he rented out just for the two of you and then take you into the back alley behind the place and fuck you senseless up against a brick wall?”

  “No! What? That’s very romance novel-ly of you. No one rents out a restaurant. He’s a working, middle-class person, not some dark ass billionaire. And why, if he did rent out the place, would he fuck me in the alley? It’s winter, for one. For two, the place didn’t have an alley behind it. For three, he’d probably be classier than that if he had money. He’d get a limo or a private jet or something.”

  “Oooh, a private jet. That’s romantic! Did you join the mile-high club?”

  “No! He didn’t have a private jet! If you have to know, he actually is in a tight spot and I paid for dinner.”

  Carla’s mouth dropped open and the chunk of ice cream on her tongue nearly dribbled out.

  “Gross,” Muffy shuddered. “Close your mouth. It’s okay for a woman to pay for shit nowadays, isn’t it? In this modern, forward-thinking society?”

  “Yeah, I guess so, but it’s just tasteless.”

  “Don’t worry. He was mortified enough for both of us.”

  “He should have been.”

  “No. He totally shouldn’t have been. Anyway, don’t worry. I got it back.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “He- uh- he drove me out to this field place back road thing and we went stargazing. He- went to kiss me and I kind of wasn’t expecting it and I just felt his arm slide around my shoulders, and I went to turn to look at him and his face was right there, and I plowed right into his nose. It didn’t hurt me, but I was afraid that I broke it.”

  “Oh my god.” Carla giggled, her ice cream temporarily forgotten. The spoon hung uselessly from her fingers. “Did it bleed all over the place?”

  “No. Thank god. He was fine.”

  “And… so… you’re going to see him again? Broke ass, broken nose dude?”

  “Thanks. You’re so complimentary and politically correct.” Muffy moved off to the living room. She threw herself down onto the couch and Carla followed. She held out the container of ice cream.

  “Want some?”

  “Yeah. Actually, I do.” Muffy took the spoon and dug in. The creamy goodness combined with the delicious doughy cookie was like heaven. “This is my consolation prize for not getting kissed tonight.”

  “I saw his pictures. He was hot.”

  “He is hot. He actually showed up looking like himself. His photos weren’t great online but in person. Oh my god. He was a thousand times better.”

  “Like, spoon ice cream all over his balls, lick it off kind of better?”

  “Oh my god, that’s weird.”

  Carla blinked. “Is it?”

  “You and your balls.” Muffy ate another scoop of ice cream before she passed the container back to Carla, but all she could think about, as she swallowed, was how much better any kind of dessert would taste licked off Alex’s hard abs or off his deliciously tight pecs or off the tightest ass in the history of the world or maybe… maybe even off his balls. Maybe she’d bite him after, just for good measure.

  “You’re thinking about licking him right now. I can tell.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “I can see your mouth watering.”

  “No, you can’t!” Muffy felt her cheeks go hot.

  “You were thinking about biting him, weren’t you?”

  “No! What is wrong with you? You’re a sick person, you know that?”

  Carla winked. “I know.”

  “For someone who has sworn off men, you’re pretty into the weirdest kind of fantasies.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s the thing about fantasies. They’re always better than how it is in real life. In my fantasies, men are jacked and stacked and tight and hot. In my fantasies, I lick whipped cream off every inch of their body. In my fantasy, a man actually goes down on me. After licking whipped cream off my nipples.”

  Muffy slapped her hands over her ears. “La, la, la, la, I am not hearing this right now.”

  “Oh, come on. Like you haven’t had any fantasies of your own? We’ve had to. We’ve only dated men who were completely inept in bed. If we didn’t dream about something way more exciting and fulfilling, we’d probably become shriveled up old shrews.”

  “We practically are. We’re old. We share an apartment. We’re both technically single. You have no plans to date anyone anytime soon and I can’t attract a man to save my soul. I seriously doubt he’s going to call me back. He says he will, but I already know he won’t. The nice ones and the hot ones and the normal ones never do. It’s only the crazies that try endlessly to get a second date.”

  “The stalkers, you mean.”

  “Whatever. I doubt he’s going to call. He didn’t try and kiss me again and I messed it up the first time. He probably thinks I’m some weird thirty-year-old virgin freakster.”

  Just then, Muffy’s phone buzzed. She still had her jacket on, and it was tucked into her pocket. She pulled it out, expecting the text to be from her sister or her parents, but it wasn’t.

  She’d programmed Alex’s number in there, totally not planning on calling it. He probably had rattled off a list of fake digits. He had a good poker face. He was a nice guy. He was probably just trying to let her down easy without her knowing at the time that it was what he was doing. Unfortunately, she’d seen that trick before.

  “Is it from him?” Carla whisper-yelled. Actually, she just yelled. She was so excited she nearly knocked over the tub of ice cream.

  “Yeah. It’s from him.”

  “What does it say?” She reached over, trying to wrestle the phone away, but Muffy held it out of reach.

  She turned the screen, knowing she wouldn’t have a moment of peace otherwise. “It says that he had a good time and he really wants to see me again. He wants to know if Sunday works.”

  “Sunday? Like not Saturday, but Sunday, Sunday?”

  “I guess so. That’s the only Sunday I know of.”

  “Oh. My. God.” Carla giggled. “Please do me a favor and bang him at his place.”

  “B-bang him? No! Not on date two! I don’t do things like that on date two.”

  “He must not be that hot then.”

  “He’s hot, thank you very much.”

  “You should have done it on date one then.”

  “Stop!” Muffy tucked her phone back into her jacket pocket. “I’m going to bed.”

  “Sweet dreams. About banging him. And licking his balls.”

  “Carla!” Muffy felt like stuffing that tub of ice cream right into her best friend’s face, but she knew she was smiling. She was probably smiling like an idiot as she made her dramatic exit out of the room.

  She realized that she’d reached a new low because even if she was grinning like a total dork, she didn’t actually mind it one bit.

  CHAPTER 10

  Alex

  “She found out that you had no money after you ate, and she still wanted to go out with you?” Jay’s mouth hung open.

  Alex rolled his eyes. He stuck his feet up on his friend’s coffee table, socks and all, mostly because he knew Jay was extremely OCD when it came to smelly socks and coffee tables. He was probably like that too if he was honest, but this was his friend’s coffee table and not his. So, that made it ok, especially if it annoyed the hell out of Jay.